MORE red flags to look out for when dating!

It's so easy to be caught up in love. All your no's suddenly become absolutely's, and now you've lost yourself; infatuated with the person they've shown you to be. But is that really them? Or are you so deep in, that you STILL can't truly fathom the waving red. STILL colorblind, but deep down looking for more answers, reasons; signs that are once again...found....

Welcome to part 2 of relationship red flags. If you’ve stumbled across this first, read part 1 here

Ambition

Someone who doesn't have their head screwed on and are heading in the wrong direction of life, is not ready for a relationship. If you think about some of the qualities required in a healthy relationship: dedication, stability, mutual support...you can't expect these things from someone who's unable to meet their own basic needs. They may not necessarily have a 10 year plan, but think about the life they've built or are currently setting up for themselves...Why are they more concerned about finding a partner, than where their next meal is coming from? You can't build a life for yourselves on love alone, so push them in the right direction if you can, and support each other for the future you both want and deserve. If you've done everything you can and there's no sign of change, it may be time to leave and let them figure things out for themselves.

Nonchalant

There's nothing worse than a partner who doesn't care. For some reason, this attitude to life is so "in" right now, but I honestly don't know how some of you do it! You could be screaming from the rooftops about your issues, concerns and problems, and they're just looking at you like you're insane, but in actuality...they're just emotionally unavailable. This can be extremely frustrating, and unless you're willing to stick around through their journey of emotional maturity, it's best to leave, as you're doing more damage to yourself, and will likely end up the same nonchalant way.

Where is this going?

Although it's important to live in the moment, being with someone that doesn't discuss the future of your relationship is an indication that there probably isn't a future to discuss...I'm not saying they need to plan a whole wedding and pay a dowry to let you know their intentions, but if there aren't even clear hints from their side that this is long term, it's likely you're wasting your time. You could be attempting to make plans for the next few months or year; asking where they see things going and there's nothing but 'errr' 'hmmm' and ‘we’ll see when we get there’...take the hints and leave!

Me > ...

Someone who puts you first is extremely important. As harsh as it may sound, they shouldn't have to value you over their personal goals, because some things are just non negotiable, but if they have to choose between a night in with you and the 5th Goals session of the week...I'm sure you both know what the decision should be. If you're feeling unprioritised, be understanding but communicate that. There should always be some effort to put you and your feelings first, especially in the most difficult situations. If it becomes ongoing; especially after persistent conversation, maybe consider that they're just uninterested?

Being the second rendition of the Red Flags series, it's just so crazy to think that this is someones everyday reality. There are soooooo many "signs" and red flags so i'm honestly not surprised if you can't spot them, the important thing is that once you do, you do what's best for you!

Esele xox

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